From this website I’m under the impression that you must write. Write to your hearts content!
However, I’m not exactly sure what to write, and therefore what I want to start with. But since my username is staring right at you (I assume), I might as well start writing about that.
My username is nakedstreetkid for no other reason than my (not so) intelligent brain combining two titles, from two books which are laying comfortably on my right hand side. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love J.D Robb’s Naked in Death but the other book – the book that takes up 2/3rds of my username – well, I just haven’t had the chance to read yet. And I know what you’re thinking: why on earth would you essentially name yourself after a book you haven’t even read yet? Why not combine Emma by Jane Austen with The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath to make Emmasbelljar a thing for people to stare at for ages? Forever confusing people as to which one is true. People all over the world will ask either one of two things. Is her name really Emma? Or does she really represent the bell jar that Sylvia Plath so cleverly used to symbolise the suffocating hold that manic depression has on a person? And the answer would be no to both of them.
I am only 16 years old and am somewhat depressed but not to the extent that I can say that I am trapped beneath an airtight fortress that Plath describes as a bell jar. I mean, in the past I have been. Maybe that’s why I read the book so early in my adolescence (when I just turned 13), I could in somewhat way relate to the self-hatred and utter emptiness that Plath played through Esther. Thus making The Bell Jar my coming-of-age story.
Although, I’ve never actually re-read the book. It reminds me too much of my past and not enough of my present or future. Therefore from the action of not re-reading the book in fear of returning to the past should alert you to my now optimistic attitude towards life. And this fact should lead you to the conclusion of the nature of my former (and current) depression. It is not one of sheer pessimism but of realism (coupled with threads of pessimism). Yes. The daunting realisation of the human races need to crush and oppress the ones that have not conformed to societies infrastructure of social and ethnic hierarchy. Which of course we all somehow fit into. Whether we like it or not.
And there’s the reason for my once spiralling depression.
Primarily it was the stereotypes (mold, if you will) that humans have embedded deeply into societies foundation that scared me the most. But, with organisations such as NUS (national union of students) or videos on youtube such as downtownpatrol, there were now solutions to my problems. And my all too realistic/pessimistic view on the world morphed into optimism.
I know what you’re thinking! No, it’s not like I have drowned myself in naivety and innocence. Of course not. In order for things to change you must be realistic about the problems in the world, but to attempt to change you must be hopeful and confident that change can happen.
Is that the conclusion of this blog entry? Well, I believe it is. My english teacher has always told me to plan but I decided to delve right into this and just try it out. Next time I make a post, I will try to plan the beginning middle and end (but like Sarah Kay said someone else said “not necessarily in that order”). Maybe I’ll try to use my punctuation far more wisely than I have today but, well, I need to experiment before I get things right.
So, if you’re looking at my blog for the first time and see this entry just know that I want to experiment with my writing. So it won’t all at once be amazing. I will have mistakes. But I prefer to make mistakes early on rather than later in the future when things begin to matter to me.
Thanks for reading. Nakedstreetkid out! 😉