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A spoonful of fear

For the past few days I’ve been going to skateparks with my friends. And something I’ve realised, time and time again is that where they would go and do a trick or go down a ramp, I would not. I would be too scared. It’s mostly because I’m afraid of falling in front of people. Letting everyone see me fall terrifies me.

I guess that fear had been directly translated from the way I conduct myself in everyday life. Growing up, I was always that kid that was too scared to raise my hand when I knew the answer to the question, just in case it was wrong. I was that kid. Quiet, silent, never wanting to disturb the peace sort of child.

It’s stupid when I look back on it. It makes me wish that I was far more outgoing when I was a child. I wish I’d had friends at that age too. I wish that I knew first hand how it was to have a friend as an infant. That way I wouldn’t have had to stumble and climb over so many thorns before finding healthy friendships.

I was thinking very briefly what actually makes my friends so dauntless. Maybe it’s the fact that they forget the fear once they go down the ramps. No, maybe it’s not that they forget. Maybe, it’s the fact that in that one moment, the courage that they posses to get over that one obstacle is larger than the fear they have to stumble over it. And after that courage leaves them, they continue to walk down that path that courage paved for them. That’s how they keep going. They commit to the bravery that courage provided them.

I’m sorry, I’m aware that the above is written in an incredibly cheesy manner but I cannot describe it in any other way.

Anyway, I have volunteering in the morning and it’s past 3am.

Nakedstreetkid out! 😀 x

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