Flashback, journal, moments, Poetry

Flashback: My First Swear

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Time stalls on the window sill

My tiny feet grips past the gloss, straight onto the flaking wood, face pressed onto the window, hands by my side

Laughter from the living room reminds me of their harsh words

Their intent to scare me, to remind me that I was no more than a common fool a success

Tears work its way down my cheeks

My warm breath dents the cold glass as a silhouette shaped like my chin and nose forms as the rain on the other side collect into droplets

 

Finally, I let the pain go and give room for anger to emerge

It wrestles my body into havoc as I begin to kick out against the window, punch away the fabric within the curtains and let my tongue boil out a single word

“Fuck”

I scream it

Then stop cold in my tracks

Did they hear?

Did they hear their 8 year old sister collapse into a word forbidden in this household

I wait

I listen

And nothing.

So I say it again

Nervous giggles jolting the words out in a quiet whisper

The word feeling oversized but good, easing away my anger

 

Better.

 

I feel better again.


This post is a response to a collaboration on the theme “flasback” where we explore moments in our childhood week by week.

Read my friend’s interpretation of this week here

Enjoy!

Nakedstreetkid out x

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4 thoughts on “Flashback: My First Swear”

  1. firstly you are such a good writer, secondly thats a very nice memory i didnt say mine till year nine, thats how much censorship was happening lol

    1. Oh, no! But that’s good, no? Swears were half of my vocabulary when I was 12/13 years old. It was so annoying. Stunted my language development – especially when all I wanted to do in Spanish was learn how to say a swear 😂

  2. Hello Nakedstreetkid….you definitely have a talent for writing and creativity. I can almost feel your pain when I was reading this. Have you pursued this and thought about spreading the word more fully. I would be happy to host your writings on my site.

    1. Aw, thank you, I really appreciate it! Truth is, I’ve never fully thought about it because I’m generally quite inconsistent with my writing that I’m hesitant to try. But I’m interesting it exploring it, what would it entail?

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