Time stalls on the window sill
My tiny feet grips past the gloss, straight onto the flaking wood, face pressed onto the window, hands by my side
Laughter from the living room reminds me of their harsh words
Their intent to scare me, to remind me that I was no more than a common fool a success
Tears work its way down my cheeks
My warm breath dents the cold glass as a silhouette shaped like my chin and nose forms as the rain on the other side collect into droplets
Finally, I let the pain go and give room for anger to emerge
It wrestles my body into havoc as I begin to kick out against the window, punch away the fabric within the curtains and let my tongue boil out a single word
I scream it
Then stop cold in my tracks
Did they hear?
Did they hear their 8 year old sister collapse into a word forbidden in this household
So I say it again
Nervous giggles jolting the words out in a quiet whisper
The word feeling oversized but good, easing away my anger
I feel better again.
This post is a response to a collaboration on the theme “flasback” where we explore moments in our childhood week by week.
Read my friend’s interpretation of this week here
Nakedstreetkid out x