I’ve been crying a lot lately.
Ever since my 20th birthday, I’ve become increasingly depressed. This depression stems from me having a mixed bag of both successes and failures in the past month, and my inability to focus on the good.
The long and short of it is, I’ve been focusing on the bad. All the mistakes I’ve made, all the risks I’ve taken and the negative consequences as a result has knocked back my confidence.
I’m back to questioning “Am I good enough?”
To which the answer has been a deep, resounding “no”, and that is terrifying.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve made huge strives in recovery. I’ve stopped self-harming, I talk more openly with friends and family, and I am taking deep control and responsibility for my future.
But that feels like that is no longer the case as I am going through another bout of depression and thus going in and out of dissociative states.
To be honest, I haven’t a clue of what I should do to feel better, but writing has always helped in the past so… I hope this works.
Nakedstreetkid out xx