I’m going to give up writing casual blogs for now. It feels way too forced and I don’t enjoy what it does to my writing.
Not that I didn’t like it, because I did. I enjoyed sharing my thoughts like I do in my journal – quite a turbulent and unedited mess. It has allowed me to share my experience with trichotillomania, disordered eating (not an eating disorder mind, but that is arguable in itself), my depression and everything that comes with it. I hope that I have shed a light on some of these issues, however, I don’t feel as if I’m doing it justice while writing as casually as I am.
If I die and my many journals are found from underneath my bed, I would much prefer my family to lay witness to when my thoughts were presented with some clarity and insight. Not only the jumbled mess of words that are dictated with incredibly raw emotions. I want them to see both in the same way I would like you to see both. I want to show both the emotionally charged entries which make no sense to the sane eye as well as the logical posts which show some form of reflection.
Most of all, I just want to heal.
I believe by composing my posts in this way, continuously reflecting and evaluating, will provide me with a better chance of doing so.
And that is all that I want to do.
So a bit of both is now in order, one more than the other. But we shall see what happens.
It may be an interesting mix afterall.
Nakedstreetkid out xx 😛