The last few days have been quite erratic in general. I’ve had quite a few lows but also a few highs.
It’s been harder to get out of bed now-a-days. But not because I’m overwhelmed with this almost imagined exhaustion that depressions presents me with, but rather with the fear of others that anxiety hold me down with. So, in that respect, it has been hard. However, I’m finding that this fear that I have soon dissipates with enough music blasting through my ears and a book heavy in hand to distract me from the masses of people that pass me. And it’s not even strangers that scare me, but people I know. Having to interact with them and engage with people when all I want to do is roll up into a ball and hide away.
I don’t want to do speak. It scares me too much. Hence the anxiety.
High points are that I’ll have the opportunity to relay all of this to my therapist on Monday. Funny thing that we are trying to do is have a two week interval, instead of our weekly therapy sessions. And I think it’s working.
I should probably explain that for last two sessions I’ve been fairly reserved with her. Using subtle and quite frankly, unconscious ways to distance myself from her. I’m quite glad I was able to recognise that so that I can try and work on it with her.
All in all, I’m quite anxious to see my therapist. I need to get a lot of my chest.
Rather long post today, so I do apologise!
Nakedstreetkid out x :*