It has come to that point in my life where I again, feel and look like shite.
As of right now, I am heavier than I have ever been and that worries me so much. I have had, in the past, the tendency to engage dysregular eating patterns. And this is mainly due to a lack of appetite or just a general way to punish myself. So, that has led me to not eat, lose weight, gain it back just as quickly when I do start eating again and a feeling that I have almost re-lost control again.
In general, since results day, I have not wanted to eat at all. But that’s been changing over the last two months where I have gotten into the habit of just gorging on large amounts of food, unhealthy food for that matter. And I’m gaining weight and I hate that.
I understand that at one point or another everyone goes through those periods where they just dislike their body so much. So, this may seem silly or just plain irrelevant but that is what is going through my head right now. My ginormous weight gain.
And for those who do care somewhat, please, do not worry. If I do choose to lose this weight (which I am going to do), I am going to engage in healthier ways to do so. I am a firm believer that if you’re going to keep the weight off, you have to do it in the most sustainable way possible. And that is a healthy, balanced diet and a healthy dose of exercise throughout the week.
Anyway, that’s how I feel today.
Nakedstreetkid out x