Poetry

A Question of Time

I feel sick
Even my name makes me sick
Each syllable a tick 
Alluding to something that should not exist
And my hands
They are juxtaposed
One warmed from the heat of the sun
The other lying away from it
Cold, dripping of blood
I wonder
How long can I sit here?
How long until my reality dissolves into dreams and my wrist is no longer bleeding?
How long until I have found my call?
And the drip, drip, dripping of blood
Has hauled me away and dumped me in a casket
Waiting for me to lose consciousness
Never waking me from my dream
How long, I ask, how long?

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Friendship: A reflection

Hm, let me start a little differently. Let me add pretext to an already jumbled up story. 

I have a group of friends, guys, who are kinda stapled onto the forefront of my mind. Who I celebrate with them their achievements, share their frustration during shortcomings and share or dispute opinions during debates. They are probably the best group of friends I have ever made. Who I can trust and share a silence with when the time calls for it. Who I can cry in front of without worrying too much that they would judge me. 

Even if I do try and hide away. 

It’s hard, though, when you don’t know quite what to do when a friend is hurting in the most disastrous of ways. When all you want to do is ease their pain but cannot for it is impossible to bring back the past. But I still want to do that. With every fiber of my being, I want to eradicate the hurt they will feel in the future and encourage their growth somehow. Hug them when words fail me, and say the right ones when they do not. Allowing instead each word to flourish into a stepping stone each can follow down their chosen path. 

I really hope for wisdom. 

Yet it never comes. I have not lived enough years to ever truly know how to be wise at this age. For I am only 18. My experiences with love, death and heartbreak are limited to years that are very few. 

I don’t want to make this post about myself, I just wish you to understand just how much I care for my friends. Who I wish that I could provide every dream dreamt in their minds without hesitation. Except, for perhaps, silly ones which consist of prostitution and easy ways out of this monotonous and callous society. 
I just wish them well. 

And wishing that, I hope you can understand how much I care for my friends. How much I cherish their strengths and understand their faults. 

I will always love them. 

Nakedstreetkid out x

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Boredom breaking writers block

So, recently I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve stopped writing as much as I did a few months ago and I’ve narrowed it down to three things.

  1. I have nothing interesting to write about. My life is a complete bore right now. My schedule runs like this: Wake up, go to school, revise, dinner, bed, repeat. Everyday without fail. It’s so boring. Trust me. BORING. I need to vary my life up actually, but hey, I’m just about to write up a study timetable where I schedule in some fun! 🙂
  2. Not writing in my diary. Some people write plans before they draft a blog post, I, on the other hand, write in my diary. I don’t know why but it certainly helps me to reflect on everything a little bit more so I can write on here. But I haven’t been writing in my diary as much, meaning, that I haven’t had time to digest the little things that happen to me throughout the day. Which kinda means that I’ve been keeping a lot inside, which I would highly discourage. Especially for someone who is incredibly neurotic like myself. Get it out! Any way you can. In a diary, in a blog post… hell, I’ve recently booked a meeting with my counsellor to get a few things off my chest that I can’t write down. Do what works for you is my point. Trust me, you’ll probably feel ten times better.

Well, that’s it.

Talk later.

Nakedstreetkid out! 😀

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CREATIVE BLOGGER AWARD NOMINATION?! WHAT!? :o

So, I wasn’t really expecting this, but I got tagged in something that the darling wandering violet got tagged in. So, I am happily forced to answer away. Oh, I should probably mention that the rules are that you must answer 5 facts about yourself. In addition to that, you must tag 10 bloggers. Okay, if I have tagged you, of you go! 😀

If I do tag you, just know that I really enjoy your blog and that is why I am tagging you, okay, so…I tag:

http://nocrybabies.net

https://goodlucksj.wordpress.com

https://akritimattu.wordpress.com

https://thisawesomelife0918.wordpress.com

http://thinking-languages.com

The official Rules:

OFFICIAL RULES-

Nominate your top 10 blogs
Notify them by WordPress, Social Media and their links
List 5 facts about yourself
List the rules

So, first off, I should list five interesting facts about myself. No necessarily interesting, but facts all the same.

First fact about myself is that I am horrendously late, to most things in my life. The common one being school of course, where I’m probably just on time enough to start running with a minute to spare from the station to my school, only to later realise that I’ve been using my phone which is a minute late anyway. Yay. Other late stories related to school include when I was in my secondary school and with my best friend, who was often late with me, we would synthesise the most ridiculous cover stories. Conversations with the teacher waiting at the school door would something like “oh, miss, she was sick on the way to school”, or “oh, miss, I had a terrible case of the nora virus where I was shitting from my anus one minute and then sicking up on the street the next, oh what a day miss!”, or, to be bluntly honest “miss, we couldn’t miss out on that wicked deal in teescos, two for one pound, someone call the ambulance!” Oh, and of course my birth, completely late for that, about a month or so I believe. I swear, my lateness is an inherited allele, somewhere deep within my genome. Of course, I have a range of other instances where I was so terribly late that I almost pushed myself into a state of absolute terror, circulating the drain of near panic attacks. But they are all for another time and are frankly to long to tell.

Okay, so the second fact about dear old me, is that I play the violin. And some people get really surprised about that. I think it’s because I’m so clumsy in the real world that if I were to play the violin it would sound like a cat having auditory hallucinations while subsequently drinking from an alcoholic beverage, drunk on the suspicion that people are out to get her. But yeah, I do, I do play the violin. At first, completely not by choice, my music teacher roped me into it by promising free piano lessons. But, by the end of about 6 months I fell in love with the instrument and have been playing it ever since. What a nice ending to a cautionary tale.

Anyway, third fact about myself… Now, I’m debating on what to tell you guys because there’s nothing that is supremely interesting about me and my life. But, I guess since we’re half way through I might as well tell you something that you could’ve guessed. I write poetry. A lot of it. Some, I post up here, some, I write on a piece of paper and for that reason, some I just lose. Completely. They go off the face of the Earth. Which is really my fault because for some reason I believe that scrunching it up and placing it in my bag will somehow, someway make it much safer. But it never really does. So some poems do kind of get lost forever. Boohoo. Most of my poems are also incredibly sad, as you can tell if you have read any.

Now, I’m getting tired, so Im going to list the rest off.

Four, I have a blackberry still. That I destroyed 3 months ago, fixed and then destroyed again last week. Oh, the woes of my life.

Five, I love sport. Like, love it. I used to rock climb regularly, did judo (almost threw down a judo olympian), played rounders and cricket. I got this medal from the David Beckham’s academy a few years ago for demonstrating leadership and I’m the goal keeper for my school’s Netball team. And because of that, I get to wear a really cute uniform and what not. (oh, no. My girly side out for the prowl)

Anyway, that’s all that I can think of right now.

Damn, I have school tomorrow, and I cannot be late for that. ;P

Good luck with everyone participating in the fun! 🙂

Nakedstreetkid out! 😀

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Open letter: Why Napoleon (and historians) make me mad

I kind of hate Napoleon right now.

No one really debates about him anymore, everyone just happily agrees that he is some great military commander when in actual fact, he is not. He never really was. He just plagiarised the work, ideas and plans of men like Charlemagne and Hannibal and it’s annoying. It’s annoying to be obligated to study about such a man. I can’t find enough sources which offer a balanced argument on him and it’s frustrating because I so dearly need to write a 2000 word essay about him, with references to other historian’s views. But it’s hard to do. Especially with the lack of justified sources over the internet and in books. I find myself half the time trying to detangle the main story from the historians own views. Why is it so hard to just say what you think anymore?! Why must the whole world be politically correct? Is for respect? Please, tell me, because I am so confused. Why must you paint up your writing with horrific blobs of complicated words?! Why?! There is no need to do such a thing! Who are these historians trying so desperately hard to impress? It’s frustrating! Why can’t you just say that you hate the man or that you love the man or that you’re undecided? Why must you bunk and then debunk myths like it is a game. It is not a damn game. Just write coherently and everyone, including me, will love you.

Yours sincerely,

A frustrated history A-level student