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Returning Sanity

I haven’t posted anything on my blog in a while because my style of writing has actually gone way out of whack. I’m trying to fix it up by reading more, but I always feel guilty for reading because I need to revise and my life apparently now revolves around my need to revise. I hate it, but that’s the way it is.

I was actually thinking a little while ago that I should really start balancing my life far more better than I am doing now. The problem is, is that I still haven’t quite found my footing in balancing revision and free time. Because what I am doing now with revision, I might as well not be revising because I am failing everything. However, like my friend Luke has already done, I might just force myself to accept the failure that is waiting for me by the end of this week. In fact, my older brother was talking to me earlier, and told me that unless I fully accept that I have failed, that I have hit rock bottom, there is no way I will ever reach the top. He told me, that the first step is admitting that I failed, the second is accepting that the way I am doing things is causing me to fail and repeating the same method will only lead to even more failure. Repeating an old trick the same way and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I need to get out of monotonous cycle of getting up, going to school, going home and sleep. I really need to learn how to shake things up, otherwise I am going to fail every single exam. And I don’t want that, so I need to learn to accept that I’m failing, well and truly accept it instead of ignoring it for what it is.

Because if I’m going to fail, what do I have to lose by changing up my method of learning? Nothing, absolutely nothing. If I still channel all my hope into a failed method, I’m just going to drive myself straight into insanity, and that isn’t good.

Like my history teacher quoted:

“Learn to accept the things you can’t change, and change the things you can.”

I have the next few days to prove that I can do it.

Here. We. Go.

Nakedstreetkid out ;D

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