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Happy songs and other confusing things

So, I keep thinking to myself “what is my happy song?” And that’s mainly because my days have become extremely monotonous with mountain piles of revision overloading each and every hour of my waking being. And mainly because I have an interview in a little less than 5 hours for a university I actually want to go to and have to convince them that they are the ones I love. And this is difficult for me because I’m freaking out.

So, what is my happy song?

My mind returns to my past experiences in my secondary school, surrounded by the people I absolutely love and contributed to the development of what I call me. And I just remember days where we put these unheard, unknown rastafarian, afrobeats and bollywood songs that someone somehow had stumbled upon during their happy hour. And I can’t remember these songs. What I can remember is how we would all dance, and dance with abandon. And I miss that. I miss the simplicity in it.

Because now that I’m growing up, I feel like I’ve taken every moment of that time in my life for granted. And I wish I hadn’t. I think I was aware things would change, but that they couldn’t because I would have some element of control. But I don’t. And that’s scary.

Now I’m watching friends from 2 years ago grow up into these lovely, stable women. And I’m here, sitting and I feel as if I haven’t reached that level yet.

I listen to a lot of songs. Those who know me, know that I’m always lip syncing songs in the street. Or recycling old ones because they portray a different meaning to me now that I’ve had a little more time to grow. I still listen to songs that I stumbled upon 5 years ago, and only update this with songs I know has made a change for me. And in that vast collection of music, I don’t think I’ve ever decided what was my happy song. What was the song that when I’m stressed or sad picks me right back up again?

I don’t know.

I hope I find it soon.

Nakedstreetkid out x

🙂

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When the past is past

“If you bump into someone you haven’t seen in seven years, every cell has been replaced and they’re someone new entirely. You don’t have to say hi.” – @shutupmikeginn

I just realised that it has been a little over seven years since I’ve seen my classmates from Primary School. And that’s an incredibly uncomfortable thought. I mean, it was a completely predictable future, considering I wasn’t “friends” with any of them, it’s just that they all live so close to me. Or, at the very least go to school in my general area, so, why haven’t I seen any of them?

How can one live so incredibly close to their past but never truly touch it?

Nakedstreetkid out x

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Any other day…

Today feels like any other day when really, it is not. It’s the new year, I should… feel something. But I’m not. And it’s weird.

I think it’s because I haven’t been outside my house since (and I say this in absolute shame) Sunday.

It’s weird to think that Christmas was this time last week. And today is New Years day. I wonder how everyone is. I must make a few phone calls in the morning, if only to say hello.

I’m sure as soon as I go roaming outside, I’ll feel as if the new year has started.

Nakedstreetkid out x 🙂