Struggling free

This morning, I didn’t want to go to school.

Now, this wasn’t the normal “I hate school, I’m not going” type thing. This was the “I’m walking up to school, I’m feeling increasingly anxious, I can’t do this anymore” type thing. Literally, every time I walked towards it, I just wanted to walk away. The anxiety grew and grew. And I don’t know how I got over that feeling, but in the end I got to school. 5 minutes late but it felt like an hour. Oh, well, Saturday detention doesn’t seem so bad now anyway.

But, after that, things started feeling okay.

I struggled through almost every lesson but during my frees, I talked to my friends and felt better. And I guess, that’s why I value my friends so much. Because I can go to them, talk a bit and feel better.

Something I am beginning to realise is that each emotion is temporary. Not any one emotions lasts forever – good or bad. Because I may have felt anxious in the morning, doesn’t mean I couldn’t feel happy in the afternoon. Every moment works independently from another. Give it long enough and I’ll acquire a different emotion as soon as I allow myself to.

And that’s something I forgot. Because for two, maybe three years, I struggled with depression. And that was a constant level of the most horrid melancholy one could ever experience. And I went through that, every day. I would wake up, every day just wanting to die. But I didn’t ever kill myself because I realise that I was young. And now, I realise that emotions are temporary. Things are looking up, guys.

Anyway, I need to get back to work now. I have a history presentation in class tomorrow and I have to blitz through a handout and a powerpoint.

Nakedstreetkid out! 🙂


1 thought on “Struggling free”

  1. Good post and a poignant thought that “emotions are temporary”. Excellent way to think of it, I will remember that on the days I feel anxious 🙂

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