The Right Mistake

I have anxiety picking up a text book
Each letter on a page pulling tears from my eyes viciously
The fear of reading has my heart pounding
Sinking into knowledge too deep for my mind to comprehend

The book has recycled words
Dropped from the hands of giants
Their feet flattening my sanity
Into slips of paper

I have anxiety picking up a text book
Because each time I try to recall a fact I worry it is wrong
I’m worried to make a mistake
And learn from it

Because I worry the mistake I make will be wrong

Sometimes I sit and wonder
When will I make the right mistake
Because every wrong mistake has me questioned
Every right mistake is rewarded

I have anxiety picking up a text book
Because I think there is no difference
Between writing what the examiner wants and plagiarism
Every time I write I copy down their views onto exam paper
A form of propaganda to be passed onto whoever is next

Scribbles are scripted perfectly
And I wonder where I’ll be rewarded for a right mistake
Where my views are no longer different from my book